Aka Aurora's Tales

I can't believe I'm now in level 26. Yesterday I celebrated my 26th birthday with my classmates whom I consider as my cousins. We went to Puncak, West Java, for our farewell party. But, that's not what I am going to write about.

As a 26-year-old girl, I find myself not in the right level. I feel weird. I don't resemble someone who is actually 26 years old. It's not about the thing that I mostly hang out with people who are younger than me, but it is from inside of me. My friends who are in the same level with me have thought about marriage. Honestly, I don't know what to do with that reality. I believe that God has saved someone for me to live with forever, but I am really clueless about it. Other people are barking around, asking me when I will get married, who my boyfriend is, why I choose to concentrate on my career and study more than about finding Mr. Right, seriously I'M SICK ABOUT THESE !

I am childish and yes, I do admit that. But someday I want to have someone who will wake me up to face the real world with his lovely way. People always say to me to marry someone older than me, maybe way way older, but hey, I find myself more comfortable to be with someone younger. But most of the people won't hear me. I was close to someone who is 2 years younger than me and it didn't work well, because we were not mature enough to be together. I stepped out of the relationship. I was also close with a guy who is 7 years older  than me, but he just saw me as a little girl no matter how hard I try to be more mature.

This year, I find a guy who is 6 years younger than me. Very smart, charming, young, and hard-working. Who don't like this kind of guy ? But if I say I'm into this guy, people will just shout on my face and say that I am stupid to even hope to date this young guy. I also don't bring myself to even try to love him instantly, because I know I will be the one who will be hurt in the end of the game. I try to read him, learn about his personalities and his goals. He once stated that he would like to get married two years later. Wow, this is getting even crazier. I don't know whether he was serious or not.
I just don't want to hope for more. But if God says something different, I'll accept that wholeheartedly.

26 is such a crucial number in my life. I've been single for too long. I need to rely on someone who can comfort me whenever I have problems and shed my tears also someone that I can talk to everyday and give me his personal opinions. Besides that matter, I want to develop my career and finish my study soon. I want to run, not walking. I want to jump high, not just hopping. I will give my best.

Welcome, Level 26!